Choices, Boundaries, and Forgiveness

As I sit here contemplating the words I want to write, I’m also nervously anticipating seeing my father who I have not seen for several months.  We live in different states so visits do not happen very often.  I’m nervous because his health is declining at a rapid rate as a result of lifestyle choices he’s made for many years now.  Every time I see him, I renew my efforts to make healthy choices for myself.  Maybe it is more of a re-dedication to healthy choices or a validation that I am making better choices by eating healthier and exercising more.  Of course, there is always room for improvement.  I can say that some of the changes lately have produced a noticeable difference in how I feel – I just feel better.

Perhaps it is because I’m getting a little older now or maybe it’s because anger and frustration require so much energy, but I am finding myself forgiving my father for his damaging choices and pitying his quality of life that is suffering so much now.  I know that he is responsible, but it is painful to see.  Unhealthy aging can rob a person of dignity, which is one more reason to take care of yourself now.

A constant struggle that I have is maintaining healthy boundaries that limit how much I’m drawn into other people’s drama.  It is difficult to be supportive to someone who needs the support and to stay true to you.  We are of no help to others if we can’t keep ourselves healthy and happy.  I would love to hear how you maintain your boundaries with those you care about.

Eat healthy, exercise, relax, laugh, and love.  Not only do your choices affect you and your health, but also your family and friends.  One action has a ripple effect – don’t you want it to be a happy ripple?

Plugged or Unplugged

When we disconnected our landline, I felt like I was obligated to keep my cell phone on me at all times.  No one wants to miss that emergency phone call that might come.  But I discovered that I was checking my phone much more often than necessary, like I was expecting a call or text that should come but didn’t.  Why was I doing that?  I took my cell phone on my morning walks – to listen to music.  And of course, to be reachable.

Then I realized that being constantly plugged in was actually leading to more anxiety – don’t the news channels talk about that?  Am I obligated to be instantly accessible at all times?  That would be a big, fat NOPE!

I’ve left my cell phone at home for my walks lately and to weed my flowerbeds and garden.  Look!  The world did not come crashing down!!  And I’m starting to relax some, too.  Fortunately, the area I live in is quite safe – I know some areas are not.  Also, when I get older, I will probably take it with me for safety.

I recently met up with a friend at a local park to walk and talk.  I did leave my phone in my car so that we could have our chitchat time uninterrupted.  What I didn’t know is that the area we were in is a ‘dead zone’ for cell phone service.  After I got home, I noticed that my phone was acting up, so I rebooted it.  Guess what?  I had a couple of text messages that came in while I was walking and although these didn’t show up – I had missed calls as well.  D actually called her dad to see if he knew where I was because my phone was going straight to voicemail and asking if he was worried that no one could reach me.  I realized that I have allowed myself to be way too accessible and that although we don’t have kids at home any longer, my time is still not my own.  That is supposed to be the payoff of an empty nest – I am not required to be accessible 24/7.

I’m rediscovering the joy of just being outside with no electronic access – just like my childhood and teenage years.  Back before the Earth’s crust cooled – that is a long-standing inside joke in our house.  =)  It was taken from one of the kids’ dinosaur movies – not sure which one.  LOL

I found this picture and feel like it sums everything up!

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So, how do you unplug?

 

Image courtesy of:  http://sites.ssis-suzhou.net/geoffderry/2014/01/

 

Body Snatchers – Part 2

Yep, back on this topic.  I met with my endocrinologist to talk about this crazy diagnosis of osteoporosis.  I had about a month from the time my primary care doctor gave me my bone density results and my new patient consultation with the endo doctor.  I read voraciously during that time and what I read scared me a lot.  There are so many medications and so many side effects – really nasty ones.  I had never heard of osteonecrosis of the jaw – what does that mean?  Well, it means that your jaw bone dies.  How does that sound?  Pretty horrible, right?  I also learned about bone formation and regeneration.  I read books and online articles.  I talked to friends and family to the point that I could see the eye rolls when I brought it up again.  I got angry at my body because I felt like it betrayed me.  I felt pitiful and had a nice little pity party.  Then, I became determined to do something.  During my research, I discovered nutrition and exercise tips that can make a positive difference and actually have the potential to improve my bone density scores.

I walked into that endo appointment wanting to hear what the doctor had to say and wondered if he would follow the norm of handing me a prescription and see me out.   I was pleasantly surprised to see that he is very much into educating his patients.  He patiently explained how the scores are read – which confirmed my research.  There are two scores on a bone density test – the T-score and the Z-score.  The T-score compares the patient’s bone density to the ideal peak bone density (someone in her late 20’s-early 30’s).  That seems a bit skewed to me, but I guess you need some type of baseline.  The Z-score compares the patient’s bone density to someone of comparable age.  That sounds more reasonable.  It also seemed that my doctor puts more reliability/emphasis on the Z-score.

So, that being the case – I still have osteoporosis in my hip, but not in my back.  I had already decided that I would not take any prescriptions for 1-2 years and get a new bone density scan at that time to see if lifestyle changes would make enough of a difference.  Imagine my surprise when that is EXACTLY what the doctor said!?!?  Needless to say, I was thrilled with that because after patiently explaining things to me, he asked if I had any questions and did not seem rushed to get to the next patient.  He could see my relief that his treatment plan followed my preference and sent me on my way saying “see you in one year”.

Debt-free, debt-free – oh what a place to be!!!

We decided to revisit our budget and see what could be trimmed – how are we being non-frugal?  Well, we switched our television provider to take advantage of the introductory rate with a new provider.  That will last for 12 months, but the regular monthly rate will still be less than the previous provider.  Check.  We took advantage of the new family rate plans that our cell phone provider recently implemented.  AND B took his line to his own plan. Check.   Last, we disconnected our land line and we are now a totally cell phone couple.  All of those changes saved us about $200 per month.  That’s so awesome because we sat down this weekend and realized we are sooo close to our debt-free goal.  Our goal is to be debt-free, including the mortgage, by age 55.  I’m not sure that will happen because that is only 5 years, but 7 years is realistic for us.  Once that happens, hubby can cut back to part-time hours so that he is occupied, but not overwhelmed.

We would love to take a 3 month long vacation to visit the sites I’ve never seen, some of which he has and some he has not.  But no rushing, just taking our time and seeing what the world has to offer.

How close are you to your financial dreams?

My Medical Profession Rant!

Ok, I try to be patient and allow processes to take the natural course.  Of course, my family would say otherwise.  =)

Why is it that every time a doctor’s office calls with test results they make it sound like the end of the world, but when you go in for follow up tests you end up waiting longer than necessary for what are actually normal results.

Context – as I’ve already revealed – I have been diagnosed with Osteoporosis.  Not too happy about that at the young age of 49.  The doctor’s office called with my results and said I needed to come in as soon as possible for a consult.  I was in the office 2 days later.  I was told I needed another blood draw to check my Vitamin D level and that I would have the results within a few days.  Ok, I get that – the lab is off site.  I give it a week and call back – they don’t have the results because they are having “difficulty” obtaining electronic results from the lab.  Well, ok, whatever.

So, after waiting a few more business days, I call again – only to find out my levels were all normal and that my endocrinology referral was mailed out today.  This was all relayed to me quite nonchalantly.  I’m actually pretty offended because they made it sound so urgent, but then apparently not so much??

Yes, my radiology report definitely indicates a problem that needs to be addressed.  But my bones are not disintegrating as I type this.

Why does the medical profession resort to fear rather than education?  That creates needless stress and anxiety in an already stressful society.

What is your medical profession rant?

Body Snatchers Stole My Bones!

What am I talking about?  Osteoporosis – at the ripe old age of 49.  I’ve always known that I fit the high risk category because I am small-framed, but I really did think it would not be an issue for another 15-ish years.  Now that I’m writing that, perhaps this was timed to be my wake up call to be more proactive in the lifestyle and nutrition changes that I’ve “been meaning to do.”

Why is it that so many of us are more reactive than proactive?  Even though we know better….

I’ve been trying to read up on all of the information out there.  Holy cow!  There is so much to read and process that it all just becomes one big blur.  As I learn more, I plan to update this post and maybe start a series to disperse the information I come across.  Right now, my brain is spinning with the volume of information and perspectives that are available.

Do you have osteoporosis or know someone who does?  How are you, or they, managing it?

Veggies, Rain, and Frost… Oh My!

Well, time has certainly gotten away from me this month.  It is so nice to see that Spring seems to be here to stay now.  It has been one very strange and very long Winter.

We planted our first veggie garden when we thought the cold weather was gone.  Boy, did we miss that mark!  We had very strong wind gusts during our last cold snap, so poor veggiescovering the plants in plastic bags wasn’t an option.  We did have a few buckets that covered some plants, but the others were left to fend for themselves.  Needless to say, they didn’t fare well.

 

 

And we’ve had so much rain that our yard is a bog, even though we have an underground drainage system to combat that.  I know I really shouldn’t complain because we’ve dealt with drought conditions for so long.  But, I would really love to be able to take Jitterbug and Jumping Bean out to the swing set we have for them.

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This azalea started out as a desktop plant – it LOVES the rain we’ve had!

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D and her hubby will be running in the Tough Mudder this weekend – wish them luck!!  Go here to check it out…. https://toughmudder.com/

Georgia Wine Highway 2014

What a weekend!  We finally made it to an annual event we’ve tried to hit for a couple of years now.  The Georgia Wine Highway!  What is that you ask?

Up in the beautiful North Georgia mountains, vineyards wind through the mountain landscape making for many yummy wines.  This year the event spans two weekends in March, instead of one weekend.  We stayed at the Paradise Hills Resort and Spa – cute little cabins that are nice and cozy.  Paradise Hills actually has its own growing little vineyard.  The owners are so welcoming and friendly that we’ve made this our home away from home when we head to the mountains.

The Georgia Wine Highway is a self-guided tour of the wineries that represent our great state.  You pay one fee and enjoy a tasting at each of the participating wineries.  The participants change each year, but it is so fun – and you get WINE!

Although nothing was in bloom yet, the scenery is breathtaking.  Rolling hills of grape vines and quaint tasting rooms definitely makes each stop feel very personal and cozy.

I’m so glad we had the opportunity to enjoy the Georgia Wine Highway this year and we will probably go back next year – and in between as well.  =)

Adventures such as this are what we hope to enjoy more often as we are able – around hubby’s J-O-B that is, making the most of our empty nest time.

What adventures are you taking to spread your empty nest wings?

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Panic Mode – Does It Help?

How do you handle crisis situations?  Me?  Well, I alternate between trying to come up with a plan of action and wanting to burrow under the blankets and sink into denial.  Obviously, denial is not productive at all, but it can be difficult to stand up and face the problem at hand.

Here at Empty Nesting It, we’ve had a bit of an upset that has me re-thinking my stay-at-home plan and polishing my resume’.  Perhaps I just needed a sabbatical to recharge my mental batteries.  =)  Anyway, life has been a bit stressful lately.  We do have a plan of action, but as we all know, our timetables are not necessarily another person’s timetables.  Read:  I’m very impatient and want to get back to status quo quickly.

It is also important to remember to take care of yourself during stressful times.  Good nutrition, exercise, and sleep can keep you in top form so that you can better handle the pressure.  Take a moment to breathe long and deep so that you can breathe out the tension and breathe in cleansing air to clear your mind.

What are your coping mechanisms during the tough times?

Love to Read, But…

books

I love to read – romance novels and occasional biographies, for the most part. (You can see hubby’s books here, too) But I am discovering that my other sensory inputs are suffering if I whittle away at my stack of books non-stop.  That being said, the weather has been so bad that heading outdoors has not been possible as much as I would like.

I read almost daily, my DVR is now empty of recordings, and I find myself pacing around with a serious case of cabin-fever.  There is only so much cleaning I want to do.  =)

I can’t wait to get outside and work in my flowerbeds, although I noticed that my daffodils have bloomed during my ice storm-fractured elbow escapade.  I also can’t wait to take Jitterbug and Jumping Bean to the park without bundling them up!  Let’s get rid of the sweater layers and open the windows!  Hubby and I explored one of the many public parks over the weekend and I think we are almost as excited about the playground equipment as the little ones will be when we take them!

I know – be careful what you wish for when it comes to the weather.   The heat and humidity will hit Georgia soon enough.  BUT, that is so much better than ice!

What are your hobbies?  What keeps you busy?